Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
