don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
