we have pet lesbian snakes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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