we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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