That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
