Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
