just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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