Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I love you.
Bad choice
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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