Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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