you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
