can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
