i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
