I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
