There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
