i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
