Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
