i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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