Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Floor bacon is actually really good
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
