the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
