So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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