have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
