I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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