Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
