$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
now i know why i became what i already was.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
