i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
