um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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