Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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