Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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