Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
