Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
