It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
