Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
