I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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