Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
