Got a toothbrush?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
