I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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