dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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