kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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