They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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