is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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