he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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