I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
