So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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