i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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