He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
