Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize