Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
