If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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