Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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