I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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